042004

San Antonio, TX

Tuesday April 20, 2004

     9:55am  The next day. These girls have introduced me to The Celestine Prophecy book. It's good.

                   *Damnit, this pisses me off. This was such a good part in my story but my tape recorder was all messed up and it didn't record right. Argh.

                   Oh yeah, I have to tell you about this book, The Celestine Prophecy that I'm reading. Man, it's awesome! I've just been sitting here all morning reading this book. Like the first fifty pages of it. I'm waiting for them to wake up, so I can ask if I can borrow it.

                   I might have already read enough to where I don't have to read the rest of the book. I just have to tell everybody else to read it now. I think I'm just going to take off. It's already noon. It's Fiesta week. I should go down to Travis Park.

                   Natalen is the street off of Broadway that I came down to find those girl's house. It's 235-4 if I ever want to go there again. To borrow their book.

     12:54pm  I'm going to go hit up Carmelita's for some Mexican food.

     12:55pm  She didn't hook me up. She just shook her head no.

     1:02pm  Terry here gave me a cigarette at the gas station on Josephine and Broadway. I appreciate it, brother. Everybody gets credit in my game, thanks.

     1:18pm  I came to Sam's Burger Joint. I'm going to try and score here. Let's see if it works.

     1:32pm  Man, they hooked me up phat at Sam's Burger Joint. I got a bigass burger.

                   And fries.

     1:57pm  I'm in Travis Park now. I'm going to play with the animals.

     Mike hooked me up with a cigarette here at Travis Park. I appreciate it, brother. Everybody gets credit in my game.

     1:58pm  The cops came to the park. One pulled up on a mountain bike right next to me just as I was hitting my one-hitter that looks like a cigarette. I hit it anyway. I just ignored him. I'm fearless. I guess he thought it was a cigarette because he just kept going! Man, but he was up close and I was hitting it like a pipe and everything. I even put it in my pocket when I was done. He just rode off. They didn't mess with me at all.

                   I've got protection.

     2:53pm  I was playing with the squirrels and Jacob, who I've talked to before came up and asked me how I was doing. The tape cut off there.

                   I just got off the 92. I'm going to go to the library and check my email and see if Jordan has written me.

     4:23pm  I just got out of the library. Oh, another book fell in my lap. It's called Eat Mangoes Naked by Saark. I transcribed like the whole introduction on a piece of paper. It's awesome. Check it out:

     "Eat Mangoes Naked by Saark

     Finding Pleasure Everywhere and Dancing with the Pits

     This book is a traveling pleasure companion, and a reminder to seek out pleasure and lightly scoop it up!

     It is also a guide to finding pleasure in all of the difficult places: during illness, at the periodontist, facing our aging and mortality, and all the challenges of being human.

     Pleasure and joy live in all of the corners and crevices too, not just bright sunlight. We must learn to cultivate pleasure and invite it into ALL the places in our lives, no matter what else is happening.

     It is our birthright to enjoy ourselves and find all the pleasure in our lives. Pleasure loves company and delights in being discovered.

     I frequently forget about pleasure. It is easy to become consumed by work and doing.

     Where's the pleasure?

     Pleasure can be so elusive, momentary and serendipitous. We can chase it away by trying to plan it, grab it, or orchestrate it.

     We can dance through our lives and still be "responsible."

     We can dive deeply into our challenges and still chortle with glee.

     Let's loosen our clothes, and practice illuminated decadence and conscious luxury.

     Let's live more in pleasure and bring pleasure to others. Pleasure can escort us safely through very difficult times and give our spirits a place to replenish.

     Pleasure and joy invite our best selves out to play and quiet our critical voices.

     Then we can truly help others.

     Pleasure definitely multiplies as we share it.

     This book is:

     - a leaping treasure trove of pleasures

     - an exuberant burst of good energy

     - a companion for very dark days

     - a guide to giving and receiving pleasure, permission for pleasure, vicarious pleasure, joy in the midst of pain, pleasure mentors and lots of ways to activate: more pleasure and joy in your life and other's lives.

     Let's truly treasure our days and nights, moving through light and dark, sitting with our pain and fear, and welcoming our joy.

     Let me invite you into the pleasures of sharing your fragile, wrinkled, dented, tiniest self!

     I assure you, it's what people find most endearing about you!

     I invite you into the expanded pleasure and true joy in all that it is to be human . . . especially the unacknowledged parts.

     Pleasure no matter what else is happening.

     I will share my process, lessons, failings, discoveries, and blessings with you.

     Let's proceed into pleasure...

     Clusters of angels all along your path wherever you go.

     There are clusters of angels on a mission. These angels surround your soul, wherever you go, whatever happens."

     5:05pm  I came out of the library. I met this one dude I know Nicholas. I took a hit of weed while I was crossing the street in front of the library. I gave him a hit. He lives at the Maverick. The apartments where Josue lives. We talked a lot, dude. He didn't have an email address. His name is Nicholas.

     5:10pm  Steve, in Travis Park is willing to share a cigarette with me. I appreciate it, brother. Everybody gets credit in my game, thanks.

                   This guy looked just like Jesus and he didn't listen to me. Damn the ignorance in this world.

     5:15pm  I forgot to tell you. I jumped on the 92 going to Medical Center. I'm going to go home to my mom's and take a shower.

     5:26pm  The weirdest thing just happened. I just got off the 92. The Jesus guy who wouldn't listen to me. Oh, he gave me his last cigarette just out of the blue. I thought, "I feel like smoking this cigarette." So, I just got off the bus. Well, I decided over by the bus stop on San Pedro and Cypress, where I get off to go to SAC. Anyway, I look in trash can and on top of all the trash I see a folded envelope that says, "UFO photgraphs." I picked up the envelope and there's pictures of UFO's in here! South Carolina, New Mexico. I'll scan them and put them on my webpage. I was meant to find these pictures. Shit happens for a reason.

     5:36pm  I overheard these guys talking on the bus. One of them said, "Pretty soon I'll have all my bills paid off. I'm going to be free!" I went over and hit them up for my story. I told them, "With the Internet I have discovered a way to fight the world's greatest problem." He said, "Alright," and got off the bus. Have you always been that ignorant, old man? Anyway, I was telling Renee my story. Hold on.

     6:20pm  Erica hooked me up with a cigarette. Nobody was giving me one. Erica hooked me up. I appreciate it, Erica. Everybody gets credit, thanks.

     6:37pm  Robert hooked me up with a courtesy ride. I appreciate it, brother.

     6:39pm  Robert wouldn't listen to me. He can just wait to hear about it when the rest of the world does.

     6:57pm  I just got off at the Walmart. I was thinking I'd take a nature-hike home or go play videogames. Let me see what time the next 610 comes. It'll be the last 610 going up towards my mom's. Ahh, I'll just take a nature-hike home. And play videogames first.

     7:37pm  I just entered the woods. I'm going to walk all the way to my mom's.

     8:55pm  I am just now getting to the Exxon over on Braun Road and Bandera.

                   Matt just hooked me up with a cigarette. A big yellow truck that just pulled up at the Exxon. I appreciate it, brother. Everybody gets credit, thanks.

                   I'm taking off walking to my mom's house. I called and my little brother had the car. She just had surgery on her toe.

     9:20pm  I'm at my mom's house now.

     10:32pm  My little brother just came home. He told me, "I got something for you." He gave me a pack of cigarettes! Marlboro Reds. Perfect, I wanted a cigarette. Awesome.

                     My little brother told me, "I just bought them because I just turned eighteen and I could."

Next day..

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